So, anyway, I'm at the Wal-Mart on a milk and bread run and I see some guy in the parking lot behind an ancient F-150 trying to sell some bloodhound pups a few spots down on the same row in which I'm parked and I'm walking right among the people looking at the pups and the guy asks if I want to pet "him" as I walk past silently cursing him and his hound and houndlings and his insolent forward manner when I glance over and realize that "him" is a very odd looking dog indeed...and sort of involuntarily due to curiosity I take a step closer to the back of the truck while at just the same moment I become aware of a deep throbbing bass that I can feel as more than hear, and the bloodhound which is just too, too big turns it's head back from facing the front of the truck back towards me and I feel my stomach lurch like I'm in freefall as instinct takes precedence before I consciously perceive that "him" is a not a parental bloodhound but a goddamn mountain lion, a man eating hellspawn big cat well over 200 lbs leering at me greedily and just as I realize that the vibrations are the creature's growling or purring, I realize that the mad fool has again asked if I want to pet the bloodthirsty cowboy murdering fiend in the back of his truck and that it's my own estranged falsetto voice inanely replying, "No, his ears" as I stumble backwards away from my position two and a half feet from the deadly dastardly beast, because no, he damn sure doesn't have big floppy bloodhound ears, he's got ears as evil as his eyes and teeth and claws and breath and growls, and the man laughs at me but I feel no shame for the fact that I have no capability whatsoever to move my body towards the creature anymore than I could let go of the safety rail on the freefall rollercoaster thing on top of the Stratosphere, and the beast turns back to a huge plastic bowl filled from a wide open gigantic kennel sized bag of Purina Dog Chow and I find the encounter so disconcerting I return home with milk and bananas but no bread and I have to ditch my sandwich plan and settle for a bowl of cereal and a plate of turkey and provolone and I can't stop thinking......hmmmm....are they supposed to be that big because that thing might've gone 250lbs like a small African lion and wtf was up with the dog chow, is that really what you're supposed to feed that thing and does it it make it bigger or is it malnourished and how freaking big can they get and how in blazes is some idiot redneck allowed to have a freaking cougar and where does this fool live that he goes to my Wal-Mart and how long is it before this beast attempts to snack upon me and my dogs while I walk in the woods behind my house and shouldn't I track them down, man and beast and kill them off pre-emptively, and what if the dog chow runs out before he gets home, do the pups become snacks?

Longest sort of sentence ever.....

I think my eyes are bleeding.

I wonder if you can read that without taking a breath...

What cat....errr...emmm......I mean cougar? 

I dream the other night that a bulldog had jump in my truck and had locked onto my arm. Is this the same thing?



Even though I raise bulldogs, I do understand what type of animal they are and the ins and outs with them. Most owners of bulldogs do not know what they have.



Wild story to say the least.

I will admit that by the title I thought you were talking about a 40 year old woman WalMart employee. 

Hey now..

to some of us, a 40 year old woman would be a "PYT"...

My thoughts exactly Bad.  I thought I was going to get a picture of some hot lady in Customer Service.

Out breath just reading part of it!