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COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER

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Posted: 06/27/2014 9:14 AM

COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


"...I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on."

Jack Handy
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Posted: 06/27/2014 10:01 AM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


If a late night talk show host had written the same thing--it'd be considered an hilarious take on soccer. Love the juice box and ribbon line; "orange slices for everyone", right?.
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Posted: 06/27/2014 11:31 AM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


Nice to hear from Ann Coulter once again. Every society needs a flame thrower. In this instance I happen to sympathize with her position.I have watched about 5 total minutes of World Cup while skimming channels.bored1

If there was ever a Mexico/USA match I would have a rooting interest and would probably watch.....Viva la Mexico!

Last edited 06/27/2014 11:34 AM by tmcgrath

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Posted: 06/27/2014 11:44 AM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 



tmcgrath wrote: ....If there was ever a Mexico/USA match I would have a rooting interest and would probably watch.....Viva la Mexico!
Oh, go down to Texas and catch swine flu from the unescorted minors!!!..... mi amigo.   biggrin
Here's a toast with one last pour, may it last forever plus a minute more;
May fortune sing you her sweet song; to live and love way past long
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Posted: 06/27/2014 11:53 AM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


I don't know... I have actually kind of started to enjoy the sport. 

Probably makes me a surrender monkey.
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Posted: 06/27/2014 12:57 PM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


Me too, but I kind of regret it.  Now that I'm starting to understand it better, I can see how far the American team has to go to reach the pinnacle of success.
PersonalLegend wrote: I don't know... I have actually kind of started to enjoy the sport. 

Probably makes me a surrender monkey.
"Après moi le déluge" Louis XV
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Posted: 06/27/2014 1:33 PM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 



cardcrimson wrote: If a late night talk show host had written the same thing--it'd be considered an hilarious take on soccer. Love the juice box and ribbon line; "orange slices for everyone", right?.
This is the first time I saw what she actually said.  That's pretty funny!
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Posted: 06/27/2014 1:56 PM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


Well there are a few things going for Soccer as a sport such as when we lost last March to Dayton in the Sweet Sixteen we could still have moved on to the Elite Eight since we earlier had beaten Kansas which was a higher ranked team....................aw never mind.

What kind of sport let's you lose and move on up in the world championship tournament?    eek1
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Posted: 06/27/2014 2:00 PM

One Thing I Hope We Can Agree On 


is that orange slices are a great idea.  I loved those.  Football would have been alot better if we had had them too.

our state of grace is gone.

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Posted: 06/27/2014 2:18 PM

Here's her column 


Some very funny lines, but probably the best is from the Iron Lady herself. . . .

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.


(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.


In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."


Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.


(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.


(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.


Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.


(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.


(5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!


(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.


I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.


(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.


(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.


Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.


Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?


(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."


The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)


Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.


Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.


If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.


COPYRIGHT 2014 ANN COULTER

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Posted: 06/29/2014 10:36 AM

Re: Here's her column 


Annie is good at what she does.  Provoke.  And I'm relatively sure she has the bank book to prove it.  Further, she is able to pull off the tongue in cheek bit very very well.  I'm also a sucker for long legs - but that's another story. 

Having said that, she does make some cogent points.  First, I firmly believe one of the reasons for youth soccer's popularity is that it is a relatively "safe" sport.  I don't mean as in injuries.  I mean psyche.  Baseball, for instance, is brutal.  3 for 10 - and you are a very good hitter - where else can you fail 7 out of 10 times and be considered good?  When a 10 year old drops a pop up, he (or she) is exposed.  No where to run, no where to hide.  Basketball is similar, although not as stark.  Football brings a whole different set of issues.  Soccer everyone just kind of melds together.  The only one that can be exposed badly is the goal keeper. 

(Along those lines - one of my favorite youth sport stories.  My eldest was about 7.  She started playing in the Pleasanton Girls Youth Soccer League.  You have to live out here to understand the sway soccer has.  They have a soccer parade before the season.  The kids (and its only the younger ones - the teenagers are way too cool to participate) march into the Alameda County Fairgrounds and sit in the stadium.  It seats a couple thousand and its full. The head of the Pleaseanton Girls Scooer Assn (its a non-profit corp) makes a 6 figure salary.   I helped coach the 7 years olds - although I knew nothing about soccer. At that age - its a little like electric football.  They all are bunched together, a kid breaks out and scores.

  So - its the first game of the year.  The ball is kicked off by our humble opponent.  They score 10 seconds later.  They continue the onslaught.  We lose about 11-0.   We all were a bit worried about the girls as they trudged off.  Would they be dejected?  They asked two questions:  First (and I"m not kidding on this)  "Did we win?"  Second, "where are the snacks?"  For any of you that are thinking of coaching youth sports (and I highly recommend it) there is a lesson there to be learned.  And for you who like soccer - fear not, I never coached soccer again.  BTW - that team didn't score a goal that season. But the snacks were always good.  And most of the kids played the following year. For 7 year olds - that is all that matters.)

Second, soccer is stunningly boring much of the time.  Standing around passing the ball back and forth from the midfield line to the guys back in your zone is the sporting equivalent of watching paint dry.  And don't give me this about - well they don't score much in baseball either.  It's not the lack of scoring that makes soccer boring.  Its the lack of scoring THREATS.  I've always wondered how much less boring the game would be if they changed offsides to the way its called in hockey. 

Third, there IS an element to this World Cup along the lines of:  we are "supposed" to like this.  If we don't we are some kind of American Hegemonist unable to see the beauty of the "world's game". 

Fourth, the flopping is pathetic.  I realize that it is done, in part, to get an informal time out.  But when some guy gets his ankle nicked a bit and then starts going into hysterics, writhing in agony, only to be up and running full speed 10 seconds later, it makes me want to force them to tackle Toby Gerhart one on one - without pads.


So - I still don't like the game.  I have watched a bit however.  The crowd shots are fun.

"I pledge - on the souls of my grandchildren - that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made today."

Last edited 06/29/2014 10:54 AM by lex24

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Posted: 06/29/2014 10:37 AM

Re: One Thing I Hope We Can Agree On 



roscoemaynard wrote: is that orange slices are a great idea.  I loved those.  Football would have been alot better if we had had them too.

Why do I thik these were not simply seedless??? devil

"I pledge - on the souls of my grandchildren - that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made today."

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Posted: 06/29/2014 10:51 AM

Re: Here's her column 



There are indeed some very good points about soccer in her column....    I thought yesterday's shoot-out between Brazil and Chile was the first real great drama of the tournament.    Simply fantastic!    I'm sure it's available on-line somewhere,  if you haven't seen it, make it a point to view...

All that said....

Why did she have to go to "real American's don't like soccer" card....  so completely unnecessary...  done only to provoke.

Takes me back to a line written by Aaron Sorkin...   about those who love America but clearly don't love Americans.......    that's Ann in a nutshell.

As for me and soccer?    I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than watch soccer!

Completely boring to me......    it's only barely OK if the U.S. is playing....   but otherwise?   Awful.....
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Posted: 06/29/2014 10:57 AM

Re: Here's her column 



RMOTKING wrote:
There are indeed some very good points about soccer in her column....    I thought yesterday's shoot-out between Brazil and Chile was the first real great drama of the tournament.    Simply fantastic!    I'm sure it's available on-line somewhere,  if you haven't seen it, make it a point to view...

All that said....

Why did she have to go to "real American's don't like soccer" card....  so completely unnecessary...  done only to provoke.

Takes me back to a line written by Aaron Sorkin...   about those who love America but clearly don't love Americans.......    that's Ann in a nutshell.

As for me and soccer?    I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than watch soccer!

Completely boring to me......    it's only barely OK if the U.S. is playing....   but otherwise?   Awful.....
Provoke is what she does.  Its how she makes her living.  And she's also being a little tongue in cheek. 

BUT - I DO get the feeling watching this that I am "supposed " to like it.  And if I don't, I'm some kind of American exceptionalist creep. 

As for the Aaron Sorkin line - you are going to have to expalin that one.

"I pledge - on the souls of my grandchildren - that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made today."

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Posted: 06/29/2014 2:25 PM

Re: One Thing I Hope We Can Agree On 



IIRC Stanford football had orange slices in the '60s.

But that was before Gatorade, sponsorships, wall to wall TV, etc.

And there was a bit of a clean up problem.

Last edited 06/29/2014 2:27 PM by vragazzi

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Posted: 06/29/2014 9:37 PM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 



BearDadCardFan wrote: Well there are a few things going for Soccer as a sport such as when we lost last March to Dayton in the Sweet Sixteen we could still have moved on to the Elite Eight since we earlier had beaten Kansas which was a higher ranked team....................aw never mind.

What kind of sport let's you lose and move on up in the world championship tournament?    eek1
man, you are forgetting the fact that in college baseball, mlb, mba,and nhl a team can lose a game or two or even three and can still advance to the next stage. It just reflects the mentality that you, Coulter, the doc, tmcGrath and the likes have.

Last edited 06/29/2014 9:43 PM by mY123

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Posted: 06/29/2014 10:04 PM

Re: COULTER CATCHES UP TO MY VIEW OF SOCCER 


And this is a problem?   biggrin
mY123 wrote: ....man, you are forgetting the fact that in college baseball, mlb, mba,and nhl a team can lose a game or two or even three and can still advance to the next stage. It just reflects the mentality that you, Coulter, the doc, tmcGrath and the likes have.
Here's a toast with one last pour, may it last forever plus a minute more;
May fortune sing you her sweet song; to live and love way past long
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Posted: 06/29/2014 11:39 PM

Re: Here's her column 


Honestly....I think you can say that about a lot of sports, particularly youth sports.  Certainly baseball, golf, track and others that have limited means.  Maybe not basketball or football, but the rest.   Yawhn....
lex24 wrote: Soccer is stunningly boring much of the time.  Standing around passing the ball back and forth from the midfield line to the guys back in your zone is the sporting equivalent of watching paint dry.  And don't give me this about - well they don't score much in baseball either.  It's not the lack of scoring that makes soccer boring.  Its the lack of scoring THREATS.  I've always wondered how much less boring the game would be if they changed offsides to the way its called in hockey.  
"Après moi le déluge" Louis XV
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Posted: 06/30/2014 8:24 AM

A Simple Question For Ya'll 


When you were kids, did any of you play soccer? 

I played on a traveling team as a goalie in the 5th and 6th grades while I lived in Walnut Creek.  Not a participation group hug kiddie league, a traveling team compiled from local league all-stars that tried out.  Its a great game.  Just a great game.

I also played alot of football, tennis, track, volleyball and bit of basketball.  Just like the rest of them, bad soccer is just like bad anything else--its bad.   

Ann Coulter is bad too.  A complete waste of time.

our state of grace is gone.

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Posted: 06/30/2014 9:45 AM

Re: A Simple Question For Ya'll NO. SOCCER IS FOR SISSIES. 


EXCEPT FOR GEORGE BEST.  HE'D HAVE A HARD TIME TOLERATING THE DIVA FLOPPING THAT GOES ON NOW.
"...I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on."

Jack Handy
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