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OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine

Posted: 1/24/2014 4:43 PM

OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Browns Fire New Head Coach After Sixteen Hours On Job

“It’s Simply Time For A New Direction” Says Cleveland G.M.





CLEVELAND – Claiming that the organization needed, “a fresh new approach,” the Cleveland Browns today announced the firing of Mike Pettine, the former defensive coordinator of theBuffalo Bills whom the team hired as their new head coach sixteen hours prior to his termination.

Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football.

Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football.

 

“At this time, the Browns franchise has chosen to part ways with Mike Pettine,” said team G.M. Michael Lombardi. “We thank Mike for everything that he’s done during his nearly full-day stay with our team, and we wish him well in all his future endeavors. Unfortunately, we just didn’t see the hour-to-hour improvement that we were looking for.”

 

“I’m saddened to leave the team under these circumstances, but I understand that this is a business decision,” said Pettine, placing his personal office effects into the same white cardboard box from which he’d unpacked them the previous afternoon. “This is a ‘what-have-you-done-for-me-lately’ league, and the bottom line is that we didn’t get the job done here. I thank the Browns for the opportunity they gave me. There’s a lot of great guys on this roster, or so I’ve heard, and I’m sure I’d miss them terribly if I’d had the chance to meet any of them before my termination.”

 

Added Pettine: “Can someone show me where the front door is again?”

 

Lombardi told reporters that a search for a new Browns head coach would begin “immediately,” and will be conducted “with all the efficiency and professionalism that fans have come to expect from our proud organization.”

 

While Lombardi declined to name candidates on the team’s short list for the newly vacated position, sources close to the Browns revealed that possible successors to Pettine include Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, Seahawks defensive coordinator Dan Quinn, the currently unemployed Rob Chudzinski, and Broncos offensive coordinator Alan Gase.

 
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Posted: 1/24/2014 5:00 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


'Bout damn time, IMO. They hadn't improved under his watch.
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Posted: 1/24/2014 5:09 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Did this come from the Onion???
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Posted: 1/24/2014 5:15 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Lol yeah this is clearly an onion or sportspickle piece....gotta be

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--- ChiTownMichiganFan wrote:

Did this come from the Onion???

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Posted: 1/24/2014 5:24 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 



jacksonjammer wrote: Lol yeah this is clearly an onion or sportspickle piece....gotta be

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--- ChiTownMichiganFan wrote:

Did this come from the Onion???

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Exactly what I thought.
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Posted: 1/24/2014 6:40 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Ole Buckeye/ Big Browns fan

   had to smile..  its been a rough decades!
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Posted: 1/24/2014 6:53 PM

RE: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Didn't see it on a quick browse of NotSportCenter... which, BTW, is an excellent website for sports satire!
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Posted: 1/24/2014 7:13 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


lol
Eitzel18 wrote: 'Bout damn time, IMO. They hadn't improved under his watch.
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Posted: 1/24/2014 8:23 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 



Eitzel18 wrote: 'Bout damn time, IMO. They hadn't improved under his watch.
Yeah, but...

"Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football."

I think I'm saving that sentence somewhere. It's just too good. cool
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Posted: 1/24/2014 8:44 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


IDK, 0-0 does seem like an improvement! 
Eitzel18 wrote: 'Bout damn time, IMO. They hadn't improved under his watch.
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Posted: 1/25/2014 9:55 AM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


Pro football mock
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Posted: 1/25/2014 11:40 AM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


No wins, no playoffs ... not a single yard gained on offense (although those defensive stats will make some drool ...)
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Posted: 1/25/2014 12:27 PM

Re: OT: Cleveland Browns fire new head coach Mike Pettine 


LOL. Great stuff.

If only they'd come to the same rapid realization with Joe Banner, they might have a fighting chance at achieving competence before the decade is over.
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