Who wouldn't want to go to ND; they...
1) allow you to get multiple DUIs without losing any playing time
2) Be drunker than a monkey in public, take a swing at a cop, & don't miss a snap.
3) Protect you so you can rape other students. Even enlist teammate to threaten anyone who may come forward.
4) and help you hide lies about an imaginary girlfriend to the entire Country.
