|
Adoption.....
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 7:23 AM
Adoption.....
Anyone here ever adopt a child? Wife and I have started the process and any info/tips/whatever would be appreciated!
thanks
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 8:27 AM
RE: Adoption.....
I've handled adoptions. You have legal counsel, right?
From experience, my best advice is try to minimize the emotional investment until it's officially done. I've seen some crazy crap happen in the 11th hour. Don't let your wife (or you) get set up for a massive let down. I know it's hard, but I've seen couples get to the courthouse steps only to have biological mom pump the brakes. One couple was so crushed they waited another 4-5 years before trying adoption again. Be excited, but be realistic as to the things that derail it until it's official.
You know, and strange as this one seems there might be some truth. A few years ago my wife and I were talking about adopting a Russian girl and a buddy of mine in Children's Services for Cuyahoga County warned "don't go there - most of those kids I've dealt with are the by product of severely alcoholic men getting prostitutes pregnant." I thought he was joking, but he said "these blond haired, blue eyed beautiful children wind up with serious issues as teens due to genetic predispositions - often to alcoholism or addiction." Interesting perspective. Don't know if it's true or not, but it made me think.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 8:38 AM
RE: Adoption.....
My wife's an attorney at a large firm, so we've got the legal covered. We are looking to do a US adoption. It seems like there's a lot of non-profit agencies and then there's the catholic charities that do adoptions as well.
We looked into foreign adoption and I don't see the point when there are so many children in the US. It's also way more expensive and all of the travel, etc. has got to be tough to go through.
thanks for the help
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 8:49 AM
RE: Adoption.....
I am adopted. PM me for details.
Also, Cleveland Adoption Network can be your best friend. :)
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 10:02 AM
RE: Adoption.....
schafrath wrote:
You know, and strange as this one seems there might be some truth. A few years ago my wife and I were talking about adopting a Russian girl and a buddy of mine in Children's Services for Cuyahoga County warned "don't go there - most of those kids I've dealt with are the by product of severely alcoholic men getting prostitutes pregnant." I thought he was joking, but he said "these blond haired, blue eyed beautiful children wind up with serious issues as teens due to genetic predispositions - often to alcoholism or addiction." Interesting perspective. Don't know if it's true or not, but it made me think. This is true. A former boss of mine, single female, adopted a 4 year old boy and met two of his siblings during the process. A year later she went back and adopted the two siblings (they were about 10 and 15). The older two ended up having severe mental issues and she ultimately couldn't handle them and had to give them up. The 4 year old was young enough, and taken from the mother early enough, to adjust and develop normally (so far) but she literally had a nightmare with the other two. Good luck to you. GO BROWNS!!!
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 11:45 AM
RE: Adoption.....
My friends had young mothers back out twice in the last few years at the last hour. It can be rough emotionally. The advice above is sound.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 12:05 PM
RE: Adoption.....
I have a friend that adopted a child a couple of years ago.. He loves the child. He said it was a long, frustrating, and expensive process...
Arrogant, Obnoxious, Self-Centered.... Just an all around good guy.....
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 8:53 PM
RE: Adoption.....
I usually just lurk here but had to respond to this. I just finished putting my eight year old daughter to bed. We adopted her in 2005 from China. As you've been told, it is a long, frustrating, expensive, and scary adventure. GO FOR IT. You have never experienced the love you will feel for that child. My daughter is a well adjusted, happy, thriving, little girl and there is no way to tell you how happy that makes us. I wish you all the best and hope you feel the way I do in a few years. Good luck
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 10:27 PM
RE: Adoption.....
We adopted...13 year olds now. Kid eats all my pop tarts and I can't let sauerkraut touch her brats. She leaves towls on the floor..glasses in the TV room...won't practice her sax and has only four 12 rebound games this season. This week she made honors for the first time and promptly negated that by giving me a chest cold.
Ew...and her music...and the mall with Mom...and the persistent laughs and giggles with her stupid friends.
Really the only thing I like about this kid is her
jumper. Wicked freakin jumper. "Can you help me
in math" No....but I'll play you in H.O.R.S.E.
So adopt at your own peril. They'll want stuff and
interupt you at the most exciting point in Pickers.
"Can I have five dollars for the school dance?" Kid..you can dance in the back yard for free while looking for a money tree.
Last edited 2/7/2013 10:40 PM by buckoff10
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 10:59 PM
RE: Adoption.....
I joke of course.
She is the reason the sun comes up as far as I'm concerned.
Adopt two...they're small.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2013 11:12 PM
Re: Adoption.....
tribefan79 wrote: Anyone here ever adopt a child? Wife and I have started the process and any info/tips/whatever would be appreciated!
thanks http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/staff.aspx
Get involved. Connect with Linda over there. They're good people. Trust me.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:36 AM
Re: Adoption.....
kosartoslaughter wrote:
tribefan79 wrote: Anyone here ever adopt a child? Wife and I have started the process and any info/tips/whatever would be appreciated!
thanks http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/staff.aspx
Get involved. Connect with Linda over there. They're good people. Trust me.
Thanks for all the advice. We are about 90% sure we're going with the catholic charities. They do some really good work with the birth mothers in terms of counseling and providing a good support network. We are going through the first sets of classes and the paperwork. Next up is home studies and of course, more paperwork. |
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:15 AM
RE: Adoption.....
Do you currently have any kids? And how old of a child are you looking to adopt?
“He followed me into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I still said no, this is not OK, and he then had sex with me. He said it was OK.”
- He's a rapist. Don't forget that.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:11 PM
RE: Adoption.....
We currently have no children, well we have two golden retrievers that we treat like children.
We are looking to adopt an infant. |
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:24 PM
RE: Adoption.....
1) Congrats and good luck
2) Everytime I hear of adopting I think of the line from Tom Hanks in Bachelor Party where the future inlaws ask "So will you be having children" Tom: "We are thinking of adopting a 16 year old Asian girl I've had my eye on" Love that dumb old campy movie.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 4:42 PM
Re: Adoption.....
I have 5 adopted kids. There are soooo many kids that need adopted locally. I suggest becoming a foster parent first and then work with your local agencies.
Lowcountry Browns Backers
Charleston,SC |
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 5:01 PM
Re: Adoption.....
My brother and his wife adopted a 5 year old girl from China several years ago.
I just love that girl. She and I appear to be the only ones in the family that realize her adoptive mother is clear out of her freakin' mind. It's hilarious to see the faces she makes when "Mom" stops talking and turns away. The little one clearly sees that Mom is nuts.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:19 PM
Re: Adoption.....
Adoption is a huge commitment. I am very partial to taking care of the many local kids that are in need of permanency. Although many adopt from other countries. I am only familiar with the local adoptions through the foster system.
Lowcountry Browns Backers
Charleston,SC |
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:48 PM
Re: Adoption.....
rxdawg44 wrote: Adoption is a huge commitment. I am very partial to taking care of the many local kids that are in need of permanency. Although many adopt from other countries. I am only familiar with the local adoptions through the foster system. Kudos man...seriously. You are to be applauded. I wasn't advocating foreign adoption over adopting domestically. In fact I don't necessarily agree with much of what my brother and his wife do. I was only relaying the experience. |
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:46 AM
RE: Adoption.....
Fosters are challenging but in a different way.
Catholic Charities is VERY GOOD. Many fosters have come from/or are affiliated with Parmadale.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:44 AM
RE: Adoption.....
The wife and I haven't given the foster system any serious thought. We don't have any children now, and would like to start with an infant.
|
|
Reply |
Quote |
|
|
Posted: 2/13/2013 1:51 PM
Re: Adoption.....
You can adopt through catholic charities I believe.
Lowcountry Browns Backers
Charleston,SC |
|
Reply |
Quote |
The TAP Room