Posted: 11/18/2012 6:05 PM
1) Among Suckfests, this was truly epic.A Homerian epic. Produced by David Geffen and directed by Steven Spielberg, it was a $250 million Suckfest. Talks are already underway with Satan to build an 8th level of Hell, where this game will be shown in a continuous loop. The poster for this epic will feature that familiar closeup of Pat Shumur looking like he's listening to the judge imposing his sentence for child killings. If a Suckfest was a road trip, this would take us to Tierra del Phuquing Fuego.If a Suckfest was an historical documentary, this would make Ken Burns' CIVIL WAR look like PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE.If a Suckfest held sand, this would be Saudi Arabia.If a Suckfest was a tasteless movie, this made BAD LIEUTENANT look like LION IN WINTER.If a Suckfest was a calculation, this would have been pi.But it certainly wasn't just the Browns. The Cowboys did plenty to earn a Best Supporting nominee. It takes two to tango up a Suckfest, and Fred and Ginger had nothing on the Browns and Cowboys. The difference, of course, was that the Browns were Ginger Rogers, because she did all the steps he did... while wearing high heels.2) Think there were some major trust issues with Weeden? First and goal at the 6, and they try three runs with TR? It's not like Weeden did a lot to foster trust with at least 3 "NEARLY INTERCEPTED" attempts. The question is whether the lack of trust was upstairs as well as downstairs. Obviously Shurmur and Childress felt that way. But did Banner and Haslam as well? If so, there will be a major effort to secure a decent fa this off season (probably because no qb prospect will look that enticing with a top 5 pick. Not this year at any rate). Romo had a pretty bad day himself... only to turn around and make a brilliant go-ahead td pass with pressure all around him. Weeden and the offensive brain trust (yea, I know, a contradiction in terms like military intelligence or jumbo shrimp) saw their collective nads shrink from the middle of the second quarter on. First & 10 at their own 46, already with a substantial lead... and they go 3 & out? 3) Two foregone conclusions: the Boys would win in ot. Any Cleveland fan would have gladly been willing to put their house up just to collect on a case of beer. It was that foregone. The other is the Cowboy cheerleaders. Accept no substitutes. I just miss the days when they commanded more shots coming out of commercial breaks from those videographers shooting off the carpet. If they had a Smithsonian Museum for Sex, those white shorts would be under glass on a pedestal. 4) On this rare occasion when the Browns merited the "A" team, did it seem like Greg Gumbal and Dan Dierdorff were going out of their way to praise this 2-7 team? IIRC Dan is a ne Ohio native, and I've always appreciated his candor. But it just seemed like so much pity commentary, or trying to con national viewers into believing this really was a spongeworthy game. Fans complain about a lack of respect, but here's a case where the Browns were getting well more than was warranted. And while it's nice to see the team play with heart (except at the end when the defense was gassed), those cu's of Weeden and Skrine revealed faces that looked like all confidence had been drained away.
5) So with terrific protection in the first half, the Browns sure didn't seem able to exploit it. Week after week, it's a question of how much of it was the receivers not getting open... or Weeden not finding them. But that was the beginning of the end when the Browns couldn't make it 17-0 or 20-0. The Cowboys were sleepwalking until they couldn't do it any longer. Progress is often necessitated in baby steps, but now we're down to Tim Conway-as-Old-Man steps. We may even throw the projector in reverse and have everybody running in reverse. Add some Boots Randolph "Yakkity Sax," throw in a cheerleader or two, and we can have an American version of BENNY HILL.6) Ten first downs on defensive penalties? That has to be a record, and not by 1-2. Oh, I suppose there was some game in 1947 where the Chicago Cardinals allowed that many, but there wasn't nearly as much passing back in the day. So rather than come up with lines like "If a Suckfest held oil and water, this would be the Gulf of Mexico," let's just say it would be enough to say that this Suckfest saw TEN first downs as a result of penalties.And I can't recall a game where so many plays resulted in not one flag being thrown, but 2-3 at a time. It's good to see that the Browns used their time off from the bye to work on penalties. No, no, guys, you were supposed to work on REDUCING them!7) There may have been as much cheering when Buster Skrine left the game as when Tim Couch was battered and replaced by Kelly Holcomb. Dierdorff had to issue the obligatory "Browns are now dangerously thin at corner with Skrine out." Uh, Dan, did they corpulent to you with Buster in there? 8 ) Shurmur had a right to be livid. I think it was a real stretch for the refs to know with certainty that the te Whitten was headed to where Romo threw the intentional grounder. No question that Whitten was interfered with, but having had that receiver taken out of the play would then force the qb to make another choice. Seems like double dipping.9) If you were working in Europe, unable to see the game or read an account of it, but could only see the box score via the internet, you'd probably see some okay numbers here and there and caution everybody that we really need to put this game in perspective. They came to Dallas and played the Cowboys tough, but the Browns are young and learning and growing up together, yada, yada. And that's why people really need to watch the games.10) I know the club is not keen on doing any mid-season firings, and if they were at all inclined to do so, the bye week would have been it (God knows the coordinators have sufficient head coaching experience). Now it's just going to be torture in the extreme. To their credit, the players at least play hard, but it's tough when you know that if the game plans aren't a fraud from the very outset, then the opponents will make sufficient adjustments from which this team couldn't come up with a counter if the game was suspended for three days to allow them to go back to the drawing board. Jones and Shurmur were duking it out to see who could play a better brand of playing not to lose, and it was turning into a Thrillah in Manilla. I still think 2000 was the ultimate season of futility since the club went through a seeming baker's dozen of qb's. It's really a matter of time before the players mail it in, to say nothing of shooting off their big toe in order to be sent back home. It's one thing to say that futility eventually leads to black comedy (Christ and his compatriots on their crosses singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!"), but even John Cleese, Michael Palin and Eric Idle could look at the Brownss season and say "My God, when it came to black comedy, we thought WE were over the top! You Yanks have trumped us once again! Well played, sirs!"
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:11 PM
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:46 PM
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:53 PM
Last edited 11/18/2012 6:58 PM by gomjabber
Posted: 11/19/2012 12:29 AM
Last edited 11/19/2012 12:31 AM by Nasdaq
Posted: 11/19/2012 12:34 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 1:06 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 8:25 AM
Last edited 11/19/2012 9:26 AM by Wardawg11
Posted: 11/19/2012 9:05 AM
Nasdaq wrote: Am I a bad fan because I was glad to see one of these idiots finally get tackled by the hair & lose a big play?Should be illegal to be out of the helmet.
Posted: 11/19/2012 9:35 AM
Nasdaq wrote: It wasn't nearly that bad. Lost in OT to a .500 team on the road. Hayden plays, let alone Patterson, and that's a W.Leaning Millner.
Posted: 11/19/2012 9:54 AM
0tter wrote: Nasdaq wrote: It wasn't nearly that bad. Lost in OT to a .500 team on the road. Hayden plays, let alone Patterson, and that's a W.Leaning Millner.Yeah. And they made a nice final drive to tie it up when the team probably could have just wilted. Sucks to see them squander a lead but the Boy's finally realized that with Haden out they could throw and even if they couldn't connect Skreen would be happy to help them out. Why Skreen is still on this team is beyond me. Any time he's asked to do anything more than cover a 3rd WR he gets burned. He is incapable of dealing with the physical nature of WRs in the NFL. Still think that this team needs a CB with their first two picks or as a big FA acquisition. Plus a FS. But Brown is getting really long in the tooth so I'd prioritize CB.
Posted: 11/19/2012 9:59 AM
Gary Reents wrote: Skrine has had an issue with putting his hands on the WR past 5 yards since camp. How is it this kid still does it so consistently? Is he retarded? Are the secondary coaches retarded? Seems simple. Smash a finger with a ballpeen hammer when he does it in practice. I'm pretty sure there won't be two smashed fingers before he learns.
Posted: 11/19/2012 10:20 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 10:22 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 10:24 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 11:20 AM
Last edited 11/19/2012 11:23 AM by PROSECUTOR
Posted: 11/19/2012 11:47 AM
Posted: 11/19/2012 12:07 PM
Do you even Ebola?
Last edited 11/19/2012 12:08 PM by AudieTheGreat
Posted: 11/19/2012 1:09 PM
PROSECUTOR wrote: They gave them a big cushion because otherwise they were going to get beat deep. Same reason Skrine and Brown kept making illegal contact beyond five yards the whole game. So they gave up the short routes, held the Cowboys to a field goal, forced overtime, and had a chance to win but the offense couldn't drive into Phil Dawson range. They also couldn't score in two tries from the one-yard line.Due to injuries we ended up with an over-the-hill guy and a 5th round pick in his second year covering Austin and Dez Bryant. Oh, and then Skrine got hurt so we had Bademosi, an undrafted special teams guy who had NEVER PLAYED A DOWN AT CORNERBACK, covering Dez Bryant, who ended up with 12 catches for 145 yards and a TD, mostly against Skrine and Brown. Yeah, we win if we had Haden and Patterson.
Last edited 11/19/2012 1:30 PM by Wardawg11
Posted: 11/19/2012 1:24 PM
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