A woman asks her pharmacist if Viagra really works. He assures her that it really works. She says " can you get it over the counter?"
He repies " I can if I take two."



Awoman goes to the pharmacy with a prescription for Viagra. She asks the pharmacist to chop each pill into tiny pieces. He tells her that doing that would greatly reduce the drug's effectiveness. She states:
" I don't want him to get interested in sex again. I just want him to quit peeing on the floor."

Washington Football.

Steve Sarkesian walks into a McDonalds with Fetters and Lil' Kimmy.......nevermind.

Lane Kiffin

A drunk beaver fan walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm where his wife is sitting up in the bed. "This is the pig I've been f*****g for all these years" he says. The woman looks up and says "Sorry ya jerk but that's a sheep". Beaver fan says "Shut up I'm talking to the sheep".

section38 wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3GT9UN7nDo

That is the funniest damn thing ever....heard it first on Howard Stern a few years ago.  Thanks for reminding me of it.

From where your nuts hang, back to the bunghole.

A drover named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of the calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back the calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”