Ark v Mizzou

I don't know. I just don't.

I was elated beyond all reasonable proportion about the Hogs road win against a team that would struggle to hold the court for two games of run at my local gym. And my gym has supplemental oxygen and 3 prominently displayed defibrillators at courtside. But elated I was. I'm not totally sure why.

If the goal is to at least make the NCAA tourney (and that is NOT the goal - the goal is to do DAMAGE at said tourney) then the Auburn win didn't mean all that much unless it gets paired with a win at LSU, running the table at home, strong road performances against Florida and Mizzou, and at least a semifinal appearance at the conference tourney - a confluence of events that I must say is a tad unlikely.

But if the goal is improvement, some sort of upward trajectory then it DOES mean something.

Last year the season unraveled late, even at home. This team has a chance to improve on that - emphatically. Mizzou, Georgia, Kentucky and A&M are a challenging yet winnable series of games. Pull that off and the season becomes respectable. At the same time if they pull it off the totally pitiful losses at South Carolina and Vandy become all the more egregious. I don't know. I just don't.

It's probably more fun just to talk about Frank Haith. I love to bash him but he clearly did a good job with Mike's leftovers last year. This season he is holding on but a vision of a Mizzou future with Haith is becoming more clear to them. Interesting collections of talent (mostly hulking big men and tweeners), an ignorance of good guard play, glimpses of potential, ultimate frustration. Basically Stan Heath with glasses.

At the same time it must be remembered that this year's Miami juggernaut is just as much Haith's team as last year's Mizzou squad was Mike's.

The jury is out on Haith, quite literally. The jury that is the NCAA has choked on its hubris and mediocrity and procedural blindness. It's continued mockery of the idea of good faith investigation has led to the most cut and dried example of systemic rule breaking (Miami) being on the verge of getting off scot free. (All apologies to Auburn fans who feel their system of institutionalized corruption and rule breaking is far superior to that of Miami. You are correct. Your system is better. But hookers, cocaine, yachts and pyramid schemes is just SO BOLD, so in your face. Sometimes it's not about the system, it's about the hutzbah.) I guess we will just see what happens.

It's actually sad to see Flip Pressey this season. Yes he is great but he was so much better when surrounded by D-1 shooters. Now his crazy drives and wild dishes end in turnovers all too often and he passes up the opportunity to drive to rely on a shaky jump shot.

Also - I wonder if Lawrence Bowers realizes how beloved his uncle was among a small subset of Hog fans (subset being my family). Despite all the phenomenal and exciting players that have come through Fayetteville since our obsession began in 1977 - if my brother and I were to be the jersey wearing sort (we are not, middleaged arms just look silly in those things) there are only two jerseys we would fight over. Lenzie Howell and Truck Bowers. We LOVED those guys. Still do.

They were the guys that turned a very good team into a wildly successful one. The kind of slightly weird players that Nolan loved. They were square pegs that somehow completed the puzzle. I have thought about writing those guys letters explaining my adoration but decided it would just end in yet another restraining order.

All right, enough of that stuff. It was a good win, a bit of a theft in a way. I'll take it. Here are the evals.


BJ YOUNG: I love BJ. I really do. And I love that we have a guy that absolutely wants the ball and can make a play late. He won a game for us that we shouldn't have won. But man was he off most of the night. 5 turnovers is just too many. 5 assists were nice but he could get more. He normally seems to be having a ball out there but tonight he just seemed tight.


--- Ellis loves to play Hide & Seek. It is her favorite. But she is stunningly bad at it.

She mostly likes to hide. She picks a spot that she likes, tells me where it is ("I'm gonna hide behind your chair Daddy") then tells me to go count and find her.

I try to explain that she is lousy at hiding, that she needs to change it up, try to fool me. "No Daddy, this is a GOOD spot". This is my life. ---


MARSHAWN POWELL: I looked at the stats after the game and saw that MP only had 2 boards. That surprised me. Watching live I thought he was just tremendous. He was getting pounded inside. He probably should have had at least 4 more FTs. He is just good. He is our best player right now and it isn't real close.


--- I found myself leaving the game with a small pink purse decorated with monkeys. (I choose not to explain why.) I started talking to a pretty woman standing next to me in the exit lineup. "Nice purse" she said. Sigh. There is a decent chance I will never have sex again.---


COTY CLARKE: Continues to improve. 3 huge 3s when the team was struggling and a nifty 3 point play. Scrapped hard despite being wildly outsized. Has the makings of someone who could really break out next year.

--- So it turns out in person Frank Haith is actually some sort of alien dwarf. Dude is TINY. If it wasn't for the 2-3 extra inches of bubble shaped head he has above his eyebrows he might qualify for circus work.---


DRAKE WADE: Quietly did a lot of nice things. Had one big 3. Still needs to be more aggressive about catching and shooting or catching and moving the ball. Nothing good happens once he goes into his shot fake pound the ball routine. Played really well defensively.

--- I don't remember Earnest Ross being anywhere near this buff when he played for Auburn. In my mind he was a stringy jumping jack dude. Maybe I'm remembering wrong. Either way I want a PED investigation of the Mizzou squad.---


RICKEY SCOTT: Continued his grand tradition of following a very promising game like Auburn with a forgettable one. I think I will call that the "Ju Nobles". He wasn't bad or anything but didn't bring much positive. Seemed a bit grumpy too.


--- Mizzou is a thug team. That isn't a criticism (the criticism will follow shortly). You have to be a thug team to win in Bud Walton. It's the only way to counter our physicality on the perimeter - just beat the crap out of us inside. What I can't abide, however, is a thug team that whines constantly when THEY get fouled. Oriaki and Ross both should have been teed up. Bowers probably should have been ejected. Haith whined after the game. Come On! You dudes shoved and cleared out on every board and we slapped and hacked on every dribble. If you want to play rough that's cool. Just be men about it.---


KY MADDEN: Has actually found a nice consistent groove. He has cut WAY down on turnovers. Gets 4 or 5 assists in 20 or so minutes. Defends well. Struggles to score at all. I can't really stress enough how clear it is when I watch Ky play up close how smart he is. He calls the switches and adjustments on D. He orchestrates angles of attack on offense. I can practically see right along with him the openings and gaps teams are leaving him. But he just can't quite take advantage of some of the opportunities he has. I am much more optimistic about his future than I was 3 weeks ago.

--- You know how people and their dogs eventually start looking alike. I imagine Bruce Benedict has a very old, mangy, bitter looking mutt at home that probably isn't very good at his dog job.---


HUNTER MICKELSON: Did some nice things but also got to feel up close how punishing big bodies can be. Had a fantastic long tip in and a soft roll on a jumper. (His shot is SO soft. There is absolutely NO reason he doesn't arch it just a little more to take advantage. It would increase his range by 5 feet instantly.). He missed the front end of a 1 and 1 that was really big. All in all he is doing nicely in his bench role.

--- Keon Bell is really good. He has that relentless combo guard game that works so well in college. But he runs really funny. It's distracting.---


MICHAEL QUALLS: I would have played him more, a lot more. His hops and strength make a huge difference on the boards and I feel good when he shoots from 12. I (like everybody else ) like him a lot.

--- Driving to the game I was listening to Kentucky get treated like a pedophile in prison by Tennessee. There was no reason to listen - the game was long over. I just enjoyed it. ---


JACORREY WILLIAMS: Strangely he played little. It would seem his size and spring would have benefited us against the monsters from Mizzou. But if Marshawn is gonna get 35 minutes and Coty 20-24 and Hunter 10-15 that leaves precious few minutes at the 4 and 5 spots. I say squeeze him in some at the 3 or pair him with Coty or Qualls as a pair of 3/4s.

--- This late in the season I start to feel like I have some sort of relationship with one or two of the Pom Pom girls. Like I know when they are having a good day or are having trouble with their boyfriend or whether they might have stumbled home at 6 o'clock this morning with their wonder bra in their coat pocket. I think this might be yet another example of those thoughts my mother keeps telling me not to express in print.---


FRED GULLEY: I want Fred to play more but I'm not sure where. Ky's overall play and his ability to facilitate offense make Fred less valuable. But I still want to see more of his defense. It's just spectacular at times.

--- Halftime entertainment was a group of acrobats - a couple of juiced up dudes and a sexy woman who for some reason I am assuming are Russian. The woman got on a little balance beam and the dudes picked it up and threw her around like they were Ike and she was Tina. (Domestic abuse humor is always heartwarming.). They were really good and if I stared hard I could sorta see her knickers.---


KIKKO: Was nearly phenomenal. His best defensive game. He was disruptive and a pest. If you are cheering for our opponent then you hate Kikko. He flops and bumps and is just annoying. But he is getting better and better at all aspects and if he wouldn't have fouled out he would have run the team for the final 4 minutes which says a whole lot.


--- With about 8 minutes to go Ellis had soaked up so much of the energy in the building she was practically vibrating so my dad took her up to run around by the concessions. He took his eye off her for a minute and lost her. She was hiding in one of the catering carts. Maybe there is hope for her hide and seek skills yet.---


That was fun. There is still hope. Just a glimmer but hope all the same.

( As an aside - I had a pathetic story from my recent life that I was going to try to work into this post but I couldn't figure out how. I will just add it at the end after the sign off as a sort of bonus.)


Until Next Time
Seattle



The Great Squirrel Caper of 2013

We had a squirrel in the house. I suppose it would be more accurate to say we had a "squirrel-like creature" in the house. Definitely something furry and quick that was neither a mouse nor a rat.

I say "squirrel-like" because it was actually quite a bit smaller than your average everyday yard squirrel. We have had them before and my father insists they are baby squirrels.

But they aren't baby squirrels. They are all the same size and it seems to me if they were babies we would have seen a variety of sizes. Determining them to be "baby squirrels" is akin to seeing those freakish and eerie miniature horses and calling them "baby horses". (An interesting side note to this gripping taxonomy discussion is that Ellis does indeed think those weird horses are "baby horses" and always wants to know where their mommies are. It is not a surprise to see Poppie and Ellis have a similar world view on such a subject. They agree on a wide variety of societal questions. They both believe there can never be "too much ketchup" and that it is an excellent choice as a condiment whether you are eating chicken nuggets or frozen peas. They also both like to tuck their jeans into their socks. They are of like mind those two.)

I had the closest initial look at the creature but my view was marred by the towel I was flinging for protection and my vision may or may not have been blurred by tears of sheer terror.But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Ellis and I were alone at home and heading up for bathtime. We went to the linen closet to get a towel and when I opened the door I heard a scratching sound not unlike the theme sound of Swiper the Fox on Dora the Explorer. Then we saw it.

Peeking out from under a red Spider-Man beach towel (don't ask - we never throw anything away) were two big eyes and a twitchy, furry nose. I let out a squeal similar to an 11 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert, quite possibly soiled myself, slammed the door, turned to Ellis and screamed RUN!!! and proceeded to elbow her out of the way as I sprinted for safety. (I'm not proud but we Kradel's aren't a brave people.)

Normally I would have assumed this was a mouse or a rat. But we have had these guys before. In fact this fellow was in the linen closer because that space adjoins my bedroom closet where there is a hole in the wall from when I last faced off against this vile and cunning invader from the attic (The Great Squirrel Caper of 2009).

It was maybe 3 or 4 inches long, not counting his furry tail, and I originally thought it was a chipmunk. But after a few google image searches I lean more towards flying squirrel as it had those webbed skin folds between legs on the same side. Whatever it was it was FAST.

I moved Ellis to the traditional position of safety in a rodent attack - standing on the bed - and took off after the varmint as it skittered down the hall.

I grabbed a towel. I am not sure why except perhaps even in my panic I knew that there was no freakin way I was going to touch this thing with my actual skin without suffering a heart attack.

Out first battle took place in the bathroom. He went up the shower curtain and dodged around the tub. I told him to "calm down, calm down, I won't hurt you". He saw right through this transparent lie and went right through my legs like we were doing a 1920's silent movie slapstick comedy.

I followed him into Ellis's room and cut off his avenues of escape by shutting the doors to the hallway and closet. At this point I may or may not have begun taunting him. My threats were probably less than impressive since I was standing on a mattress so he wouldn't touch my bare feet and thus kill me.

What followed was an epic 30 minute chase where I moved beds and dressers and tried to capture him by throwing the towel at him from a distance. Surprisingly this was unsuccessful. Outside the bedroom door I could hear Ellis saying "You can DO it Daddy. I think I can. I think I can."

I couldn't.

I decided to seal the room, retreat and come up with a better plan. This plan turned out to be calling my mommy and daddy. (Again - we are not a proud people.)

My father showed up the next day dressed in camo shorts, an Australian cowboy hat (Ellis said "Yee-Haw" when she saw him), and toting about a half dozen traps. This is his kind of thing.

Sadly the traps failed and 36 hours after the original confrontation we went looking again. We found him.

He was curled up in Ellis's t-shirt drawer, dead from fright or maybe dehydration. I like to think my taunts helped push him over the edge.

JK

Whoa lots of energy on this post Seattlehog!

I'm enjoying it - going to take me a while to process it all

Wish this was at a coffee shop over some coffee - this could be fun

Just wait till Ellis is older and she starts telling this story. I recommend dark glasses and a hat.

 

We all threaten to tell our kid's future boyfriend/girlfriend what they did when they were little.  Somehow I can see Ellis doing this to you.

Kikko reminds me of JJ Barea in the NBA. He's a "pest" that gives the other team just one more thing to think about. Me like!

I used to love to call Arlyn Bowers, "Arn Bars"!  Seemed appropriate at the time.

Understandably, Bruce Benedict must suffer from what one might call "Niekroitis".  Knocking down countless thousands of Phil's nuckleballs with various parts of one's anatomy must have had some dire consequences. Being verbally abused by SEC basketball fans must be quite a relief from the anguish of his first job! 

Bruce was one of my favorite Braves, back in the day.

Bowers was one of the best on-ball defenders ever.  And tough as nails.  Whenever the opponent PG had the ball, you could tell his only thought was "I gotta give up this ball and get this guy off me".

A small squirrel.

You've murdered Alvin.

SeattleHog Love your post!

BaconsRebelion wrote: A small squirrel.

You've murdered Alvin.

  Flying Squirrel ... so that would be Rocky.

But that's OK ... there's probably about 30 more in the attic.  

http://www.squirrel-attic.com/flyingsquirrel.html


-30-

Find this thread most distressing.

I have no doubt there is a whole harem up in the attic but I am too terrified to look - they may be plotting revenge. And it may indeed have been Alvin - but I feel it doesn't rise to a murder charge. At worst it's Manslaughter - depraved indifference.

seattlehog wrote: I have no doubt there is a whole harem up in the attic but I am too terrified to look - they may be plotting revenge. And it may indeed have been Alvin - but I feel it doesn't rise to a murder charge. At worst it's Manslaughter - depraved indifference.

I'd stick with some sort of self-defense plea - it was a home invasion you know.  But don't take any chances - these rodents are known for their miscreant behavior.




-30-

worldseriesofPorker wrote:

We're waiting Seattle.

Simon and Theodore.

Chipmunks on special ops sometimes don long tails to throw off the human intel.

If all else fails some recommended reading.

Seattlehog,
I read these forums everyday and usually feel a little depressed by all the arguing and bickering, but today as I am thinking "How do you teach 8 year old Vietnamese kids present continuous tense?" I find myself laughing out loud at your post.  I never reply to anything here, but felt I had to on this one.  You made my day.  The kids probably won't get a good lesson on present continuous tense though.
Keep up the great posts.
Eck